Many people have a love-hate relationship with money. The emotion of hate is a very strong one that can create financial chaos and stress that stems from negative thinking, beliefs, and habits. The fact is that many people have not been taught how to manage money and most learn through trial and error. The struggle with finances can be very real and many people desire a more positive relationship with money.
Much like an alcoholic who wants to live a life of sobriety they must first recognize that a problem with alcohol exists and want to seek help.
Just like there are different levels of alcoholism there can also be different levels of financial problems.
For some, the problem may be a lack of savings, too much credit card debt, or poor money management skills. For others, it may look like bankruptcy or a gambling problem.
Money can consume the thoughts of others, it can be an obsession, the inferior feelings of not having enough or poor decisions can grow the negative emotions within that create the inner turmoil.
The book Enter the Castle by Carolyn Myss talks about our journey as mystics seeking enlightenment. Along the path, we must look at our darkness or the reptiles that create an imbalance within ourselves.
Negative beliefs around money can be a reptile or a shadow that lies within the darkness that needs to be brought to light rather than be buried within locked in turmoil. When an alcoholic starts to talk about the shame, guilt and struggles that alcohol has caused in their life they begin to feel a sense of inward peace and freedom.
For centuries, money has been the taboo topic that was not to be talked about. Children were forbidden to ask about money, many couples are likely to go to bed together before they have money conversations. Financial pressures are the source of many marital arguments and breakups.
People struggle with overspending on credit cards, at the moment they may feel that high of making a purchase, it feels good to buy something you want. Then after the high goes away you are left with feeling shame, guilt, and remorse. You beat yourself up over your poor decision and promise to do better however in a few days find yourself sliding back into the same situation.
You begin to think about what is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. The root cause of a person overspending to feel good could be an underlying belief of not being good enough. We all have a money story that derives from when we grew up. We learn about money by what we see, experience, or hear from our parents, family, or friends. These impressions may be another root cause limiting us from having the relationship we really want to have with money.
Going a little deeper into your philosophies around money can open the door to a Pandora's box that will reveal to you the things you need to change in order to move towards the freedom you desire.
Once an alcoholic realizes their problem they then move towards a higher power and a sponsor to ask for help and guidance to move them towards the path of life without alcohol.
Recognizing your struggles with monies is real and you want it to end and have a better feeling about money. We have the ability to create a positive change; it requires work and effort. When you're implementing change it really is one day at a time. Paying attention to your thoughts and the emotions that arise when you make a money transaction are imperative to recognizing the reptiles, habits, or shadows that need to be brought to the light.
Letting go of the dark emotions, understanding, and applying forgiveness where it is required will move you towards feeling empowered and healthy within.
If you haven’t been a good money manager in the past as long as you start better habits you will begin to change. With consistent efforts in the right direction in a year from now, you will be in a better financial place. Just take it day by day.
For the alcoholic who wants the rewards a life of sobriety can bring, so too can the person in financial distress who longs for the rewards of financial freedoms get there and will if they ask for help and begin taking the steps to move towards better money management.
If we can stop judging and criticizing ourselves when it comes to money we will feel better. We place pressure upon ourselves by the amount of money in our bank accounts, strive endlessly without pause or celebration.