If I were to ask you what do you want more of in life that you don’t currently have right now, what would you say?
What if I told you can have any of these things whenever you want? But first, you may have to dig a little deeper within your self to find these qualities.
Let me ask you, have you tried to achieve these things in the past and failed to achieve them? When you didn’t achieve them did you give up?
Which of these qualities are you still seeking to find in your life?
Success is an internal job in any of these areas. I know from firsthand experience.
Throughout my life, I have searched for love, self-worth, ideal love partner, money, success.
You know what, I have found them.
I want you to know it took a lot of work, perseverance, and running towards fear.
We hear all the time that life is a journey. And it really is, just as I break through and achieve success in one area, I end up going to work towards another area.
Our thoughts, judgment, and negative past experiences - deep emotion that gets trapped in our subconscious level. It is like a dark shadow that lurks deep within us that prevents us from achieving what we want. It keeps us trapped in a sense of not being worthy enough. Telling us we are not lovable, likable, we may tell ourselves we are failures and we disbelieve in who we really are, which keeps us from achieving our desires.
The thing is most of us don’t even know who we truly are yet. I believe some of us are here to discover it in this lifetime.
I feel this was my lifetime to discover who I am, my greatness, and to share with you so you can discover who you are. What is within me is within you.
Do you believe that?
I would like to share with you about how I found happiness, love and success achieving my money desires.
In order for me to find happiness: I had to learn to live my truth.
Become my authentic self- which meant I had to learn to listen to that voice within known as intuition.
I had to be brave enough to speak it to other people.
I had to practice, cultivate, and strengthen this superpower.
Why wasn’t I born happy, what prevented me my living my truth in the first place? Why didn’t I know who I was and why did I have to go search for happiness?
Like many of you, I experienced hardships.
My father had a mental illness and was abusive to our family.
For many years of my youth, I yearned for someone to love me.
I never felt the love from my parents, they were not good at expressing love.
I was used and abused by the people around me.
I hated myself, my life, I wished on many occasions during my youth, that I would die.
When I became a mom, I loved my children more than anything, yet I still did not love myself. I wasn’t happy. My desire for happiness was so strong that when a therapist told me the key to achieving it was live my truth. I was willing to do whatever it took. Even though the words sounded easy, I knew it would be hard. I went to work to find my truth.
I went in search of the dark shadow within that prevented me from living my authentic self.
Learning self-awareness helped me to understand why others did what they did. It would help me to understand why certain things happened to me. Once I understood, I was then given the choice to forgive. You may have heard forgiveness will set you free.
Forgiveness sets you free to open to love and grow. Healing the wounds that needed healing in-order for me to move forward into my authentic self.
I recall when I felt a sense of wholeness. I was okay. I healed my inner child.
It was not easy, it took time, patience, practice. All of those qualities helped to cultivate me and allowed me to arrive in the place of happiness.
Happiness is a sense of internal well being where when you wake up each day you are happy. You’re happy and grateful for the experiences of your life. When you make better choices to support you. Your habits also cultivate well-being. I discovered the power of my mind: what I thought about is what I feel about in life, which leads to what I did about in my life.
Going to work towards finding my authentic self, lead me to love myself.
We are all lovable. We love our children, and we were children too once that was also worthy of great love. Somewhere along the way, we may have lost sight of that because of parents’ inability to show love, the way others may have abused us, or used us. Over time we believed the experiences of our story, the lies that said you are worthless, unlovable and you deserve nothing. The dark shadow of negative emotions settled deep in our subconscious waiting for us to clear or let them remain.
I would journal about my experiences. When I was angry, I would write about it until my emotions would shift from understanding to forgiveness and then love.
I had done the uneasy work and arrived in a place of confidence, security, deeper love for myself because I was worth it. I am loveable. I am worthy of love.
The day I realized that there was nothing wrong with me. I was okay. Normal.
For many years, I bought into a story that something was wrong with me, because of my father’s illness I believed it was possible.
Feeling wholeness and love is a tremendous emotion. We are all worthy of it.
Loving myself eventually taught me to let go of what didn’t support my life in a healthy way. I ended bad relationships and entered into a new relationship that supported me, loved, and honored me for who I am. It was a natural progression. I didn’t have to work to find external love. It found me because I had learned to love me first.
I always say I would not have found my husband now if I never did the work on myself.
We have open, honest communication that supports a healthy relationship. We have moments when we don’t agree, and it’s okay. The most important thing is I can still be me. I don’t need to change or deny who I am.
One of my favorite sayings is “to strive to become a millionaire, not for the money but for the person, you will become along the way.”
It is very normal for a woman to want security and a sense of freedom. It’s also normal for a woman to feel guilt and to want to please everyone else while sacrificing herself. For some of us who were stay at home moms, we may not fully value the worth we provide.
Interesting how after all that I had accomplished I had yet to discover my true sense of inner value. My search for money lead me to discover my true value. This too was an inside job.
Why didn’t I have it? What do I need to do to receive it? The answer came when I realized the story I told myself around money. “I was not good enough” and “there was never enough” was a common theme in my life from childhood to adulthood.
The negative experiences I had with money in my life were stored within my subconscious waiting for me to release it in order to move towards another level.
I looked within to clear the clutter. I understood how I allowed myself to give away my time, my worth. Like the time I negotiated a salary, only to wait weeks for a manager who would negotiate what they thought I was worth. When a co-worker was paid more than me, who did not provide the same level of quality service and how that made me feel inside. How I bought into other's stories that, this is the way it was always done. These limitations that I had placed upon myself that kept me at a lower level. We all have a ceiling and it is up to us to break free to the next level. We can recognize when we have reached a limit when resistance and fear show up through our emotions.
I had to open myself to receive, to let go of the guilt, shame, and judgment that held me back.
I wrote in my journal, I cried and released the deep emotions that were from the past which no longer served me. I understood who I needed to forgive. Myself, my ex, my children, my family, my friends, my husband.
It became clear to me as I let go of the negative, self-sabotaging ways, that I became freer to be me.
I received wealth greater than before when I opened myself to receive it. When I believed completely in myself, my talents, my abilities and recognized what is here now.
This is my story and I share it with you in hopes that you may find some inspiration in my words. What I write is from my perspective and has meaning to me.
Doing the inner work is necessary and required for you to receive what it is you seek.
So, if you want love, self-worth, success, money, or health…
Go within, do the work, become aware of your own truth, understand, forgive, and let go. Allow yourself to take imperfect action towards what you want in life.
Listen to the voice within, that calls you to know who you are and to live your best self. The rewards are worth it. You are worth it.